Hi

In this newsletter, I continue with the theme from my last newsletter and explore 'letting go of control'. There is a wonderful meditation to help build courage and a fearless heart, and also some links to two very interesting video clips. Some of you may have already seen these as they have been circulting widely, but if you haven't they are well worth a watch and are very uplifting.

Best wishes
Alison

Letting go of Control
Tonglen Meditation
Stress Management Techniques
Something Interesting...

Letting Go of Control and Facing Our Dragons

It is common when things are not going well for us that we seek security and comfort. We try to eliminate the things that cause us stress and try to control our world so that we avoid further pain. The problem is that in the process of trying to control and eliminate stress, we actually start to contract our lives. We long to escape and think that if only we could leave our job, our partner, our house, etc., things would be better.

While this may seem a reasonable reaction to stress, in the longer term it only perpetuates it. There will always be something new that will occur that causes us stress, and our reaction will be to continue to close down and we then shut off from life some more. It becomes exhausting trying to control our environment to avoid pain; our fear escalates each time and we get caught in a never ending cycle of living “hell”.

At some stage we need to choose to say “enough” and accept that there will always be ups and downs in life, but recognise it’s how we perceive and react to these ups and downs that counts. This then helps us to cease the struggle of living. Contracting our energy keeps us locked in an old limiting pattern. Accepting and opening up to emotions paradoxically helps us to find peace. It allows us to feel how big the world is and our potential for experiencing life. We go forth and meet the dragons of our fear instead of running from them, and through practice we gradually start to realise that we’ll always be ok. Each time something gets thrown up at us, we practice some more with gentleness, and without judgement of what is good or bad, right or wrong.

It’s helpful for us to ponder in times of difficulty whether we want to live a small, narrow, limited existence in fear or to experience the vastness and beauty of existence. Making a choice sets us in the direction and helps us go forward.

If you are drawn to these themes, they are explored in much greater depth in Pema Chodron’s wonderful book “The Wisdom of No Escape – How to love yourself and your world” (1). Pema Chodron is one of the most renowned Western teachers of Buddhism and provides very practical, relevant teachings that apply to living in our society today, regardless of belief systems and religious background. As she sums it up – “the teachings of the Buddha are: Let go and open to your world. Realize that trying to protect your territory, trying to keep your territory enclosed and safe, is fraught with misery and suffering. It keeps you in a very small, dank, smelly, introverted world that gets more and more claustrophobic and more and more misery-producing as you get older.”

(1) Chodron, Pema. The Wisdom of No Escape. Element, London, 2003.

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Tonglen

Tonglen means both giving and receiving. Tonglen practice has to do with cultivating fearlessness and courage by inviting pain in. It helps to open your heart as fear is a reaction to wanting to protect our heart from something that might harm it. The practice helps to break down resistance to things not going “right”. As Pema Chodron (ibid) writes, the practice is all about “seeing pain, seeing pleasure, seeing everything with gentleness and accuracy, without judging it, without pushing it away, becoming more open to it.”

Tonglen takes courage to do in that you are asked to get in touch with pain (fear, anxiety, confusion) as you breath in, not just your pain, but also those of other people. The practice goes further in that you are then asked to breathe out feelings of wellbeing, peace and joy to spread, so they can be experienced by everyone. While it may take some courage to do Tonglen, the practice actually gives you more courage.

With the in-breath you explore the suffering or discomfort of the human condition, which can be accepted and not run away from. With every out-breath you explore the feels of joy, wellbeing, satisfaction, tenderheartedness and spaciousness. This is the practice of a warrior cultivating a fearless heart, which doesn’t close down in any circumstance.

To access the meditation exercise, please Click Here

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Stress Management

A very quick technique to ease negative feelings and thoughts, or to reduce the emotional charge related to a situation, feeling or thought is to tap:

1) The fleshy part on the side of your hand below the little finger 15-20 times; and then

2) Under the nose (above your top lip) 15-20 times.

This technique is also very helpful to do when you are having difficulty sleeping.

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Something Interesting...

Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Her talk provides insight into the different functions and personalities of the left and right brain hemishperes.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/229

Inspiring, heroic and uplifting -- Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, who was dying from pancreatic cancer, gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

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